I Wouldn’t Miss It For The World

“Just because you’re in the project doesn’t mean you’re in the project.” Brad said at our first Invictus meeting.  Cool Brad, awesome.

From the first time Brad mentioned Invictus in my Intro to Magazine Writing class I knew it was something I wanted to do.  It just didn’t seem achievable.  It was my senior year, I had yet to be published and it seemed like every single student in my class could write circles around me.

When we were editing our final draft mine needed so much help we spent the entire hour and fifteen minute class period talking about it.  We ripped it limb from limb with just a few weeks left in the semester.  That was the closest I have ever come to crying in class.  Bottom line being I got to rewrite every anecdote in my piece.

I knew then that my chances of getting in the project were slim to none.  Two days later we had class again and I hadn’t even looked at my piece. Mind you not because I didn’t have time, but because I didn’t know where to start it was so bad.

But the rest of the class got edits. We only made it through five of the others in class, leaving one girl for the next week.  But it made me feel better.  While everyone else didn’t need the entire class period to get theirs critiqued, my paper was referenced a lot. “You made the same mistakes as Victoria, [insert nearly every mistake I made]”

It made me feel better to know that everyone was on the same page.  But it was still pretty shitty to know we all sucked.

I wrote my letter to apply for Invictus, even though I had never been published, on the off chance that Brad would see some potential in me and let me in the project.  (Although Brad says “potential is a French word for hasn’t done shit.” So potential may not be the right word.)

Then Brad emailed me that I could be in Invictus if I just got published 3-5 times by May.  I wrote my first article that night and had four more lined up to be published before the end of the week.   Invictus was not a chance I was willing to pass up because I hadn’t been published.

So I made it all the way to the first meeting where we were told we’re still “not in the project.”  Which made me think about why I’m here and it soon became obvious that graduating with a degree isn’t good enough any more.

I want to be a writer, and all my wonderful news classes aren’t going to do it for me.

But every time I sit down to try and think about what to write for this project, I end up doing something else. For instance, I update my blog, or this blog, I work out with my roommate, I find some piece of homework that suddenly needs all of my attention or I clean my room. I’ve even gone so far as to do the dishes and I hate doing dishes.